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thegrealtdalton

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thegrealtdalton
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 189
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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thegrealtdalton's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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thegrealtdalton's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (4925)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (6136)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2555)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34805) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

#17307375
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (8554)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by tamponface (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10975) - you deserved it (47514)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (5830)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (14022)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12396) - you deserved it (45603)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67713) - you deserved it (14660)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (11884)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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