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theelfqueen

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 2:54am) | Search for a member

theelfqueen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 112
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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theelfqueen's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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theelfqueen's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41626) - you deserved it (4566)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51648) - you deserved it (3897)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48480) - you deserved it (4479)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38596) - you deserved it (7855)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35005) - you deserved it (2945)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41051) - you deserved it (5304)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19767) - you deserved it (40576)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68624) - you deserved it (3914)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45558) - you deserved it (4518)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (3261)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (4117)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36243) - you deserved it (3979)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (3750)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (5443)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46390) - you deserved it (7191)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States



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