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Offline (the 05/22/2016 at 2:34pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1161
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About thedevilspawn : I like to read about how much other people's lives suck.

thedevilspawn's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:44am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:14am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:37pm<b>pooldude</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:19pm<b>zach205</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>amcginle</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:15pm<b>Powdercakes</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:02am<b>Michaelphiri</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:48am<b>JMichael</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:22pm<b>jmon707</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:19am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Blee864</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>igg125</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:41am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:35am<b>maricruz486</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:18am<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:08am<b>LosTe</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:43am<b>astonfrye</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:01pm

Fucked!<b>Michaelphiri</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:49am<b>imerichello</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:20am

thedevilspawn's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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thedevilspawn's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML

by Guy / 09/28/2015 at 2:49pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

by Jem / 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

by ew / 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

by dammit hearing aid / 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

by blood buddies / 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

by paywithpoop / 06/22/2014 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work