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thedevilspawn

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thedevilspawn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 227
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About thedevilspawn : I like to read about how much other people's lives suck.

thedevilspawn's page activity

Visits<b>Loomunati</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:50pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 11:25am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:03pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:55pm<b>cryptic26</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:49pm<b>zRapture</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:05pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:34am<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:25pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:56pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:56am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 12:26pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:11am<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:10am<b>yusi1891</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:28pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 12:17pm<b>laureri</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 4:53pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:37pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 1:32am

thedevilspawn's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of thedevilspawn's badges

thedevilspawn's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39232) - you deserved it (5574)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36572) - you deserved it (35511)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40539) - you deserved it (25546)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48807) - you deserved it (4180)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (45116)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (19652)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (7870)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57464) - you deserved it (7985)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45483) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56013) - you deserved it (4427)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52393) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56746) - you deserved it (6841)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47156) - you deserved it (4775)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47709) - you deserved it (5517)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)



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