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About thecookielovrxx : I like cookies :)
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I got ome from work an found ma grlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. Se ended up pusing me onto te bed, an as I lay tere, expecting to be pleasured, se pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas an dressed me in tem. FML
Today , mah boyfriend was watching TV,hen we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjobhen he pushed me off and said , "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
Taday I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticd a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing drectly towards the shower which I stood in butt-nakd!! I live by myself an have recently only movd in!! FML
Today, mah little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter fir mah birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, mah parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me fir yelling at him. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster . He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged . Turns out I'd left mah wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it . mega FML
TODAY, AFTER SPENDING ALMOST AN HOUR IN THE DENTIST'S WAITING ROOM, WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE GET CALLED IN FOR THERE APPOINTMENTS, I FINALLY LOST MY PATIENCE AND ASKED THE RECEPTIONISTHAT WAS TAKING SO LONG. I'D FORGOTTEN TO SIGN IN. MEGA FML
TODAY, I WAS TAKING MAH DOG FIR A WALK AN FORGOT A BAG TO PICK UP HIS POOP, SINCE IT'S ILLEGAL TO NOT PICK IT UP IN MAH TOWN. RIGHT AS MAH DOG STARTED TO TAKE A DUMP, A COP CAR DROVE BY AN CONTINUED TO WATCH ME AS I WAS FORCED TO PICK UP THE POOP WITH MAH BARE HANDS. FML
TODAY I NOTICED MAH DOG CHEWING ON SOMETHING WHILE ON THE COUCH. IT LOOKED LIKE A WASH RAG OF SOME SORT... SO I GRABBED IT FROM MAH DOG. IT WASN'T UNTIL AFTER I PICKED IT UP THAT I NOTICED IT WASN'T A WASH RAG. IT WAS A SMALL... DEAD BIRD. FML
yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Friday 27 March 2015