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thecalvin123

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thecalvin123

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 September 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 704
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thecalvin123 : People call me arrogant and conceited, but I prefer to call it "above average self-esteem." I'm asian, just so you people know. That has nothing to do with the fact that my profile picture is a Toyota. Tennis is the only sport I'm not 100% bullshit at playing. Just turned 16. Woot.

thecalvin123's page activity

Visits<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:31am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 1:10pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:07am<b>QueenaSng</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>robodino3</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:41pm<b>jullestrann</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:16pm<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:59pm<b>adamxxx2567</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:36am<b>brickboy1</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:50pm<b>midpri1213</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:45pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:57am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:51pm<b>sythe511</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Sooners97</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:50pm<b>madi_booth</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:29am<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:39pm<b>macs4evr</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:49pm

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thecalvin123's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (2991)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37412) - you deserved it (4158)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (2682)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (2809)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (5622)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

#21251987
60 comments

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (3334)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32732) - you deserved it (2775)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20008) - you deserved it (41267)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (7245)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (12389)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44140) - you deserved it (3082)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14995) - you deserved it (71821)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21534) - you deserved it (35493)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42905) - you deserved it (5584)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)



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