About thecalvin123 : People tend to label me as a tad bit arrogant, but refer to it as "above average self-esteem." I'm asian. Tennis is the only sport I'm not 100% bullshit at playing. And swimming.
thecalvin123's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
thecalvin123's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
by Nightshade823 / 11/10/2016 at 2:12pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2015 at 2:13am / Australia / Work
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
by lameows / 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by noway / 03/22/2015 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
by not picking up / 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm / Slovenia (Skofljica) / Love
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by great / 02/28/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Vampire Teabag / 02/12/2015 at 11:25am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML
by titsmcgee / 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 11:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love