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thebreadtruck's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by funnygirl018 / 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm / United States / Work
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
by Laurel / 05/25/2013 at 12:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML
by sarahhbear / 11/17/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals
Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
by AgentFreshers / 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Our Talisman / 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm / Transportation
Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML
by AUDONEE / 02/10/2010 at 1:39am / United States (District of Columbia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 6:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/17/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
by Manatee / 05/11/2009 at 11:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…