Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, it was mah very last day teaching mah dance class . After the class endd, the owner of the studio startd clapping and told all mah students to give me a hug . No one huggd me . No one . big fat FML
Today, I got to take mah 10-year-old son to the junior high school athich I teach. When mah students questiond him about wat I was lyk at home, he told the entre class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today... my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamd and jumpd... knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now bannd from the only grocery store in town. FML
Today, I learned that scorpion can apparently hold there breath fir hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of mah pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
Today, mah mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her fir extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through fir a good five minutes,hile I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
Today... I recieved multiple pone calls asking ow muc my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never ad a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out te guy I prank pone called te oter day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist wit an add for a Siamese cat. FML
Today, I went to the doctor . I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger fir days . I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it . The doctor saw mah wound and laughd . He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin . FML
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
Friday 27 March 2015