About theboss3469 : Reading FMLs is my top priority of the day..... Well not really but still they are fun to read :). Message me if you wanna ask anything!
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Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5438) - you deserved it (48253)
On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (3213)
On 05/06/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40013) - you deserved it (2911)
On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I lost my virginity. I also found out that if I have a powerful enough orgasm, I am launched into a lengthy and uncontrollable sneezing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (2857)
On 11/06/2010 at 10:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11490) - you deserved it (15077)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73215) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57690) - you deserved it (6628)
On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185422) - you deserved it (21618)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13998) - you deserved it (38923)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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