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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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thebigslim

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thebigslim
  • Town/Country : Mississauga, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 10083
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (3282) - you deserved it (12046)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (7889) - you deserved it (1007)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (7729) - you deserved it (5491)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (13483) - you deserved it (2008)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (8719) - you deserved it (872)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (1518)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (22999) - you deserved it (10189)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (11671) - you deserved it (4045)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (9076) - you deserved it (879)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

#17094031 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (7565) - you deserved it (62999)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by sorehead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969 (542)

I agree, your life sucks (85367) - you deserved it (4082)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974 (483)

I agree, your life sucks (49517) - you deserved it (4526)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (2066)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (12928) - you deserved it (1919)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (8290) - you deserved it (44177)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -