Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thebigslim

Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 8:38pm) | Search for a member

thebigslim

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13225
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 8:00pm<b>laxbro518</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:25am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:26pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:29am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:56pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:41am<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:30am<b>Bob3332</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:17am<b>lyzziegee</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:06pm<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Zeus5</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 10:26am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 6:11am<b>lolo_lauren</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Dungeonfox</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 7:52am<b>guru_nanak51</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Turock27</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 10:36pm<b>thatoncechick</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:44pm

thebigslim's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of thebigslim's badges

thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54687) - you deserved it (10874)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45184) - you deserved it (8822)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (52001)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40664) - you deserved it (10295)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (8505)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you deserved it (6650)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (4320)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (14222) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48373) - you deserved it (9518)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55848) - you deserved it (8983)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43752) - you deserved it (4600)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48861) - you deserved it (6606)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54990) - you deserved it (64105)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50937) - you deserved it (4684)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (65491)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: