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thebigslim

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 4:01am) | Search for a member

thebigslim

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 July 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13568
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About thebigslim : Smartass by nature..... and is it just me, or is it next to impossible to get your own FML published on here?

thebigslim's page activity

Visits<b>Aciphex</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:22pm<b>FlappyBirdxSatan</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:07pm<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:38pm<b>kionna_d</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:09pm<b>BuggChance14</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Vahex</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:30pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:09pm<b>cirelesten</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:58am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:02am<b>shine999</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 12:59am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 12:24am<b>jvfelicio</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:28pm<b>bahamit</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Peeves</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:08pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 8:00pm<b>laxbro518</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:25am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:26pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:29am

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thebigslim's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (6070)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29564) - you deserved it (5874)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (12683)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30072) - you deserved it (17554)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28225) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (6075)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (5338)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (2522)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (8013)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34495) - you deserved it (4395)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34957) - you deserved it (4910)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16404) - you deserved it (30091)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (4316)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (4993)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (3580)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)



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