Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About thebestintheworl : i Love: Pokémon, CM Punk, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, Mike Kuza, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: Motionless In White, Marilyn Manson, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Escape The Fate, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Yellowcard, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie, Shinedown, Avenged Sevenfold, Three Days Grace And Seether. And I LOVE Marilyn Manson ( And Twiggy.)! Gotta Love MIW (Chris,Balz,Ricky,Ryan,Angelo,Ghost,Brandon!) And I'm An Atheist. sXe
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML
Today, I had just finished writing my rough draft essay, so I went to sit by the pond. A giant moth suddenly flew down and attacked me, causing me to drop my binder in the pond, ruining the essay. I discovered in the aftermath that the moth was actually a leaf. FML
Saturday 1 March 2014