Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 2:51am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10691
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About thebestintheworl : i Love: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, ,CM Punk, Mike Kuza, Pokémon, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, In This Moment, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Escape The Fate, A Day To Remember, Asking Alexandria, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie,And Seether. Pansexual Genderfluid Laveyan Satanist (They/He)

thebestintheworl's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - yesterday at 3:14am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 12:30am<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 2:53pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:07am<b>OpposingKilljoy</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:20pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:35pm<b>ken29</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:53am<b>moron011</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>JimMorrisonROX</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:55am<b>charliedee</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:37am<b>darkangel224</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:47am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:52pm<b>thesmeagol</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:08pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:52am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:53am

Fucked!<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:56pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>mypineapple</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:20am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:42am

thebestintheworl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of thebestintheworl's badges

thebestintheworl's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31472) - you deserved it (4578)

On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (29556)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30777) - you deserved it (2639)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (5116)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML


I agree, your life sucks (7736) - you deserved it (55001)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (2684)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States

Today, my mother screamed at my brother for ages for playing a Nicki Minaj music video. She said it's "terrible, demonic garbage" that'll get us "spitroasted in Hell". I don't even disagree with the first part, but she does this kind of thing every single day when I get home from my night job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (2250)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:22pm - misc - by arghgffhdfg (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML


I agree, your life sucks (6434) - you deserved it (51319)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11620) - you deserved it (34041)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29482) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (11502)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:09am - love - by randomguy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (3901)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (6367)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: