Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thebestintheworl

Search for a member

thebestintheworl
  • Town/Country : Pallet town, Kanto
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 3349
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About thebestintheworl : i Love: The Shield(WWE Tag Team) ,CM Punk, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, Mike Kuza, Pokémon, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: Motionless In White, Marilyn Manson, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Escape The Fate, A Day To Remember, Asking Alexandria, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Yellowcard, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie, Shinedown, Avenged Sevenfold, Three Days Grace And Seether. And I LOVE Marilyn Manson ( And Twiggy.)! I Am Not A "Normal" Girl, I Don't Find Guys Like Brad Pitt Or Any Other Pretty Boy Sexy, I Find Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, CM Punk, Josh Balz, Chris Motionless, Ricky Horror, Mike Kuza, Angelo Parente, Ryan Sitkowski, Devin Ghost Sola, Brandon Rage, Marilyn Manson, All Of BVB, Norman Reedus & Batista Sexy. and I'm An Atheist. sXe

thebestintheworl's last visitors

JuzReadingladystatetuckitfirefighterbeegrogers311Jonny_Blaze0017ZY1431NordragThorvald22JennaNGooddeuceswild

thebestintheworl's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of thebestintheworl's badges

thebestintheworl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (8042)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (1526)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (4482)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

#20108200
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13935) - you deserved it (24611)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (30618)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (2414)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (1588)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (5101)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (5064)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (3611)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18808) - you deserved it (3692)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (8970)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: