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About thebestintheworl : i Love: Pokémon, CM Punk, Motionless In White, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: Motionless In White, Cage The Elephant, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Blink 182, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Yellowcard, Good Charlotte, Green Day, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Seether, Rob Zombie, Shinedown, Avenged Sevenfold, Three Days Grace And Marilyn Manson. Gotta Love MIW (Chris,Balz,Ricky,Ryan,Angelo,Ghost,Brandon!) And I'm An Atheist. sXe
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Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
Friday 6 December 2013