Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thebestintheworl

Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 2:51am) | Search for a member

thebestintheworl

5Fucked!

thebestintheworlthebestintheworl
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10277
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About thebestintheworl : i Love: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, ,CM Punk, Mike Kuza, Pokémon, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, In This Moment, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Escape The Fate, A Day To Remember, Asking Alexandria, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie,And Seether. Pansexual Genderfluid Laveyan Satanist (They/He)

thebestintheworl's page activity

Visits<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 2:53pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:07am<b>OpposingKilljoy</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:20pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:35pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:58am<b>ken29</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:53am<b>moron011</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>JimMorrisonROX</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:55am<b>charliedee</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:37am<b>darkangel224</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:47am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:52pm<b>thesmeagol</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:08pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:52am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:53am<b>lagreeni</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:32am<b>cmy0072011</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:07pm

Fucked!<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:56pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>mypineapple</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:20am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:42am

thebestintheworl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of thebestintheworl's badges

thebestintheworl's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (4389)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19928) - you deserved it (40799)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (3438)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57870) - you deserved it (10945)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57870) - you deserved it (10945)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (2309)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (5009)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (4579)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38329) - you deserved it (3373)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (6174)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (35939)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61138) - you deserved it (3770)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (3029)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (4276)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38715) - you deserved it (2543)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: