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theadamz117

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theadamz117

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theadamz117's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:40pm

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theadamz117's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (24861)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (2209)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (5456)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (2445)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (2426)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30743) - you deserved it (2988)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34298) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43576) - you deserved it (4007)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (3803)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29817) - you deserved it (7568)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML

#21358080
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (9042)

On 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Clive81 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38047) - you deserved it (3068)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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