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theaaxis

Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member

theaaxis

32Fucked!

theaaxistheaaxis
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1810
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About theaaxis : Crazy snake lady, beware! ;)

theaaxis's page activity

Visits<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:01pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:17pm<b>RWBYRose</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:34am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:10am<b>mccrightp</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:33pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:10am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:47am<b>carllyo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:36pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:35pm<b>lyricalservant</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:18pm<b>katachristic</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:10pm<b>bridges13</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>goldcock19</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:37pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:07pm<b>aron666</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:14am<b>Bishop423</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:05pm

Fucked!<b>mccrightp</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:33am<b>bridges13</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:39am<b>goldcock19</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:37am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:27am<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:58am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:36pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:28am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:29am<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:43pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:19am<b>CaliCassanova</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:13am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:17am<b>kampohlman</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:47am<b>gary8082</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:28am<b>misteygirl</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:56am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>bdobbs1</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:06pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:14pm

theaaxis's FML badges

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50 quality responses

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theaaxis's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50534) - you deserved it (6821)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45520) - you deserved it (25521)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45878) - you deserved it (14962)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48426) - you deserved it (7064)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27512) - you deserved it (46109)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (4159)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56778) - you deserved it (9102)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (3111)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60236) - you deserved it (3938)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47661) - you deserved it (19449)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49660) - you deserved it (5232)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (11466)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69765) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68382) - you deserved it (19354)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (133948)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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