theaaxis

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Offline (the 11/18/2015 at 6:21am)

theaaxis

52Fucked!

theaaxistheaaxis
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2684
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About theaaxis : Crazy snake lady, beware! ;)

theaaxis's page activity

Visits<b>badmandilon</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 7:44pm<b>therealputin</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 3:35pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 8:27am<b>AzureDawn</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 10:12am<b>mehibud</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 11:09pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 11:09am<b>lost7702</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:51pm<b>danokay</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:17pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 12:13am<b>dragons14y3r</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 3:09am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 3:00pm<b>classicate</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:21pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:56am<b>Mindersss</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:15pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 1:37am<b>Swarley4</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 5:36am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Abskb1</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:10pm

Fucked!<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 2:27pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 5:09am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 5:09pm<b>classicate</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 9:21pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 1:23am<b>tranced_</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:04am<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:43pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:49pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 6:21am<b>pete9913</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:38am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 4:18pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 12:37pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 5:23am<b>Cads1</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 12:40am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 5:35am<b>MrThump</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:00am<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 11:02pm

theaaxis's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of theaaxis's badges

theaaxis's favorite FMLs

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

by good_aim / 07/27/2013 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

by "people these days" / 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

by patriarchal apparently / 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm / Saint Lucia / Intimacy

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

by Well, crap / 06/18/2013 at 11:02am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Love

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous