Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

theaaxis

Online | Search for a member

theaaxis

6Liked!

theaaxistheaaxis
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 765
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theaaxis : Curiosity killed the cat you know, be careful where you click!

theaaxis's page activity

Visits<b>minutepoet</b> - 40 minutes ago<b>avatarwill5</b> - one hour ago<b>muin</b> - 7 hours ago<b>hotel135</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Furby94</b> - 8 hours ago<b>cookimonstur</b> - 8 hours ago<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Ryiah</b> - 12 hours ago<b>DougK76</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Mathis92987</b> - 14 hours ago<b>onealmxwilson</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Cacksonic</b> - 17 hours ago<b>MzZombicidal</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Atrius82</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Aspen_Grace33</b> - 19 hours ago<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - 20 hours ago<b>RarityRoyale</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Helldemon</b> - 21 hours ago

Liked!<b>christofferkamal</b> - yesterday at 7:11pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:41am<b>edmunson</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:36am<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:41pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 8:23am<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:39am

theaaxis's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of theaaxis's badges

theaaxis's favorite FMLs

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42077) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (14424)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47132) - you deserved it (6889)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (45855)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46114) - you deserved it (4014)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56390) - you deserved it (9075)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (2958)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58629) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47435) - you deserved it (19352)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47237) - you deserved it (4988)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36194) - you deserved it (10854)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68082) - you deserved it (4153)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25562) - you deserved it (129318)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63285) - you deserved it (14411)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56719) - you deserved it (7299)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: