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theaaxis

Offline (the 07/16/2014 at 3:43am) | Search for a member

theaaxis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 588
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theaaxis : If you understand what I'm saying when I bring up raxacoricofallapatorius, peeves, or vatican cameos, feel free to message me. :)

theaaxis's page activity

Visits<b>fuck17</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:39am<b>r_bolla47</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:58pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:52pm<b>MadMarky</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:40am<b>Holmes27</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:00pm<b>DisabledSkeleton</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:02am<b>millfrigger</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 9:19am<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:36am<b>nunchux88</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:54am<b>JaredTheGreat</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 5:49pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 7:01pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:33am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:38pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:43am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:36pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:00am<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:35pm

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theaaxis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45805) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55825) - you deserved it (9002)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40945) - you deserved it (2952)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58496) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47357) - you deserved it (19323)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47164) - you deserved it (4984)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (10835)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67950) - you deserved it (4144)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (128571)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63148) - you deserved it (14380)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56158) - you deserved it (7230)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (4027)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34759) - you deserved it (3270)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you deserved it (9753)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43374) - you deserved it (5865)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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