Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

the_zero_article

Offline (26 minutes ago) | Search for a member

the_zero_article

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 311
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About the_zero_article : "I'm wearing a hat right now! So, know that."








Hella gay* asexual nerd who lives on the internet.
Interests include: literature, music, and food
Feel free to say hi! Just kidding, please leave.

*[insert noncomittal hand gestures]

the_zero_article's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 1:41pm<b>Smiley_70</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:15am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:07pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Perfectly_Killer</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:25pm<b>GatherTheMice</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:02am<b>thetwistedsoul15</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Thibaud17</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:38pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 3:15am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:04am<b>coolcocoxxx</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:59pm<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:48am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:54pm<b>quinny_1024</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:36pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:39am<b>marmaries</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:27pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:09pm

the_zero_article's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of the_zero_article's badges

the_zero_article's favorite FMLs

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41233) - you deserved it (4320)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43425) - you deserved it (16204)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46682) - you deserved it (5600)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I learned that my daughter was looking for love in all the wrong places, specifically the county jail. FML

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45919) - you deserved it (5305)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46990) - you deserved it (4029)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54121) - you deserved it (4799)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

#21138238
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (4731)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by that_culinary_degree_though (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

#21134881
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39051) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/09/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by fmlgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46944) - you deserved it (4311)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63764) - you deserved it (8102)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37791) - you deserved it (20063)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (5660)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: