Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

the_untouchables

Offline (yesterday at 11:26pm) | Search for a member

the_untouchables

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 695
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About the_untouchables : "We do not have too many children, we have too many selfish adults."
- Dr. Simone

the_untouchables's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:22pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:13am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:22pm<b>ceelos97</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:51am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:59am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:30pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:12pm<b>VMG</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:40pm<b>GetIt23</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:48am<b>darwinism</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:10am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Crimsonsmite</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:47am<b>Jar_Jar_Bonks</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:05pm<b>treyzthename</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 10:53pm<b>DeeTrain420</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:24pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:33pm<b>nomoregoodones</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:37pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 4:01pm

the_untouchables's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of the_untouchables's badges

the_untouchables's favorite FMLs

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33847) - you deserved it (4212)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (3592)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (2963)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
85 comments

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (9589)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40870) - you deserved it (4480)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (3471)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46159) - you deserved it (8328)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39600) - you deserved it (6520)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38964) - you deserved it (3282)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49534) - you deserved it (4523)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: