Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1185
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About the_untouchables : "In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act". -George Orwell

the_untouchables's page activity

Visits<b>thejokingguy13</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:22pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:13am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:22pm<b>ceelos97</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:51am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:59am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:30pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:12pm<b>VMG</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:40pm<b>GetIt23</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:48am<b>darwinism</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:10am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Crimsonsmite</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:47am<b>Jar_Jar_Bonks</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:05pm<b>treyzthename</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 10:53pm<b>DeeTrain420</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:24pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:33pm<b>nomoregoodones</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:37pm

the_untouchables's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of the_untouchables's badges

the_untouchables's favorite FMLs

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27108) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27185) - you deserved it (11278)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (4094)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (2355)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (4012)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37693) - you deserved it (4930)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (4171)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML


Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (4707)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39933) - you deserved it (4027)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML


I agree, your life sucks (50045) - you deserved it (9040)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51855) - you deserved it (4730)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: