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the_untouchables

Offline (the 01/24/2014 at 7:18pm) | Search for a member

the_untouchables

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 404
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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the_untouchables's page activity

Visits<b>darwinism</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:10am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Crimsonsmite</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:47am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 8:58am<b>Jar_Jar_Bonks</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:05pm<b>treyzthename</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 10:53pm<b>DeeTrain420</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:24pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:33pm<b>nomoregoodones</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:37pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 4:01pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:09pm<b>ajax_united</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:54pm<b>Fritzle</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 8:06pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:27am<b>Johndog</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:09am<b>camilacabello</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 1:21pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 1:04pm

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the_untouchables's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (8286)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (6431)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (3195)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48275) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (4921)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (42947)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (4690)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (6287)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43613) - you deserved it (4777)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (4434)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36079) - you deserved it (6268)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50911) - you deserved it (5062)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you deserved it (9029)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)



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