Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

the_shift

Search for a member

the_shift
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 230
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About the_shift : I have nothing to say here but write me.

the_shift's last visitors

FedergirlSkyy_GirlslimiliciousReaaal04lb562ball_so_hardMissJennyaleRicanDuckykatydid91Thorvald22LilTiki559Jessica0928

the_shift's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of the_shift's badges

the_shift's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36892) - you deserved it (9374)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51550) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46389) - you deserved it (4776)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46331) - you deserved it (7570)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

#20989946
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44458) - you deserved it (4884)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:27am - love - by Rumors - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63142) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (2274)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (4264)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

#20980160
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41351) - you deserved it (3414)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Broke - United States (Texas)

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

#20979287
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (3750)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by reallyhighschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

#20979207
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (35884)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a S.W.A.T team raided my apartment. The reason? My landlord watched a documentary about serial killers. I work at a daycare center. FML

#20979196
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38120) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/03/2013 at 8:24am - misc - by pois0n (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (5786)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: