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the_enigma1019

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the_enigma1019

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1090
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About the_enigma1019 : Being a giant eyeball is hard work.....

You want to know about me? I'm a cosmic space eyeball, here observing the local late cretaceous era flora and fauna. I happened to come across one of your silly "time travelers" carrying an iPhone 45. And kept the trinket for myself. I stumbled upon this app, and strangely enough it's set to view early 21st century fmls... So here I am.

These humans intrigue me, based on their... Uh... What do you simians call it?... Comedic effect.

DocBastard
Noorfml
Perdix
Every1luvsbonerz
All of the fml staff
Pleonasm
Brave_sir_robin

Anyone brave enough to try and make a pun amongst this cold unforgiving community is good in my book

If you guys want to start an eyeball worship cult so that we can set up an invas... Tea party!... I meant tea party!... That would be awesome, thank you.

Chilling with my homie Benjamin Franklin! (known in the hoods of Boston as "Big Ben")

Farewell... *cough* {stupid humans}

the_enigma1019's page activity

Visits<b>dominikaelisa</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:55am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:41am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:07am<b>ddlovatolover</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:54am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:42am<b>nooshGol</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:36pm<b>Rissaboo180</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>The_Troller</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 1:33am<b>stormer461</b> - the 04/19/2012 at 2:22am

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the_enigma1019's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (4440)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

#5806197
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11984) - you deserved it (20916)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41925) - you deserved it (3024)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164291) - you deserved it (8185)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes. When I turned it in I got an automatic zero. It was written in blue. Not black. FML

#5436194
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (11182)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

#4827705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63050) - you deserved it (3517)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (3514)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53185) - you deserved it (19898)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (96674)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

#3739737
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48594) - you deserved it (7710)

On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - animals - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was writing a huge paper for a class as our last grade. My dog starts scratching himself. He hit the power button on the computer. Nothing was saved. FML

#2278692
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (36710)

On 05/25/2009 at 3:45pm - animals - by duderboi99 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98682) - you deserved it (15017)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)



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