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the_enigma1019

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the_enigma1019

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1112
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About the_enigma1019 : Being a giant eyeball is hard work.....

You want to know about me? I'm a cosmic space eyeball, here observing the local late cretaceous era flora and fauna. I happened to come across one of your silly "time travelers" carrying an iPhone 45. And kept the trinket for myself. I stumbled upon this app, and strangely enough it's set to view early 21st century fmls... So here I am.

These humans intrigue me, based on their... Uh... What do you simians call it?... Comedic effect.

DocBastard
Noorfml
Perdix
Every1luvsbonerz
All of the fml staff
Pleonasm
Brave_sir_robin

Anyone brave enough to try and make a pun amongst this cold unforgiving community is good in my book

If you guys want to start an eyeball worship cult so that we can set up an invas... Tea party!... I meant tea party!... That would be awesome, thank you.

Chilling with my homie Benjamin Franklin! (known in the hoods of Boston as "Big Ben")

Farewell... *cough* {stupid humans}

the_enigma1019's page activity

Visits<b>dominikaelisa</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:55am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:41am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:07am<b>ddlovatolover</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:54am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:42am<b>nooshGol</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:36pm<b>Rissaboo180</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>The_Troller</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 1:33am<b>stormer461</b> - the 04/19/2012 at 2:22am

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

the_enigma1019's favorite FMLs

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10995) - you deserved it (50694)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

#14160677
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (2322)

On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML

#13803743
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/11/2010 at 4:40pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19449) - you deserved it (25906)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something to her kids." FML

#12114881
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63010) - you deserved it (3997)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:34am - intimacy - by draegoncode - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (9680)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65096) - you deserved it (7997)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

#9697078
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33072) - you deserved it (2399)

On 04/07/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by A. Person - Mexico (Sonora)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33612) - you deserved it (6801)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10937) - you deserved it (31918)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (2863)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (2863)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)



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