the_enigma1019

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the_enigma1019

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1845
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About the_enigma1019 : Being a giant eyeball is hard work.....

You want to know about me? I'm a cosmic space eyeball, here observing the local late cretaceous era flora and fauna. I happened to come across one of your silly "time travelers" carrying an iPhone 45. And kept the trinket for myself. I stumbled upon this app, and strangely enough it's set to view early 21st century fmls... So here I am.

These humans intrigue me, based on their... Uh... What do you simians call it?... Comedic effect.

DocBastard
Noorfml
Perdix
Every1luvsbonerz
All of the fml staff
Pleonasm
Brave_sir_robin

Anyone brave enough to try and make a pun amongst this cold unforgiving community is good in my book

If you guys want to start an eyeball worship cult so that we can set up an invas... Tea party!... I meant tea party!... That would be awesome, thank you.

Chilling with my homie Benjamin Franklin! (known in the hoods of Boston as "Big Ben")

Farewell... *cough* {stupid humans}

the_enigma1019's page activity

Visits<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:34pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:18pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:33pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:31am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:38pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:09pm<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:24pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Fonzilicious</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:53am<b>cannedpeas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:14pm<b>IMcPwn</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:59am<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>dominikaelisa</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:55am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:41am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:09pm

the_enigma1019's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

the_enigma1019's favorite FMLs

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

by ewicsmelly / 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 4:40pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Money

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something" to her kids. FML

by draegoncode / 07/26/2010 at 12:34am / Intimacy

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

by weirdesout / 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

by A. Person / 04/07/2010 at 1:36am / Mexico (Sonora) / Transportation

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

by Wowsers. / 01/30/2010 at 3:47am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

by x0SoReckless0x / 11/16/2009 at 6:39am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation