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the_enigma1019

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the_enigma1019

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1117
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About the_enigma1019 : Being a giant eyeball is hard work.....

You want to know about me? I'm a cosmic space eyeball, here observing the local late cretaceous era flora and fauna. I happened to come across one of your silly "time travelers" carrying an iPhone 45. And kept the trinket for myself. I stumbled upon this app, and strangely enough it's set to view early 21st century fmls... So here I am.

These humans intrigue me, based on their... Uh... What do you simians call it?... Comedic effect.

DocBastard
Noorfml
Perdix
Every1luvsbonerz
All of the fml staff
Pleonasm
Brave_sir_robin

Anyone brave enough to try and make a pun amongst this cold unforgiving community is good in my book

If you guys want to start an eyeball worship cult so that we can set up an invas... Tea party!... I meant tea party!... That would be awesome, thank you.

Chilling with my homie Benjamin Franklin! (known in the hoods of Boston as "Big Ben")

Farewell... *cough* {stupid humans}

the_enigma1019's page activity

Visits<b>dominikaelisa</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:55am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:41am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:07am<b>ddlovatolover</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:54am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:42am<b>nooshGol</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:36pm<b>Rissaboo180</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>The_Troller</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 1:33am<b>stormer461</b> - the 04/19/2012 at 2:22am

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the_enigma1019's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

#18556039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by jigglypuff100 (woman) - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30952) - you deserved it (2436)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47482) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

#18457240
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

#18457240
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML

#18410783
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (3831)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:40am - work - by Monday (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (2990)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11747) - you deserved it (41635)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (43737)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML

#17804369
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML

#17788058
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (3650)

On 09/20/2011 at 1:53pm - money - by fiendishkitty - United States (Texas)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (16794)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

#17630821
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (1556)

On 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by EwwGross - United States (New Jersey)



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