the_enigma1019

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the_enigma1019

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1853
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About the_enigma1019 : Being a giant eyeball is hard work.....

You want to know about me? I'm a cosmic space eyeball, here observing the local late cretaceous era flora and fauna. I happened to come across one of your silly "time travelers" carrying an iPhone 45. And kept the trinket for myself. I stumbled upon this app, and strangely enough it's set to view early 21st century fmls... So here I am.

These humans intrigue me, based on their... Uh... What do you simians call it?... Comedic effect.

DocBastard
Noorfml
Perdix
Every1luvsbonerz
All of the fml staff
Pleonasm
Brave_sir_robin

Anyone brave enough to try and make a pun amongst this cold unforgiving community is good in my book

If you guys want to start an eyeball worship cult so that we can set up an invas... Tea party!... I meant tea party!... That would be awesome, thank you.

Chilling with my homie Benjamin Franklin! (known in the hoods of Boston as "Big Ben")

Farewell... *cough* {stupid humans}

the_enigma1019's page activity

Visits<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:34pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:18pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:33pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:31am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:38pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:09pm<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:24pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Fonzilicious</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:53am<b>cannedpeas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:14pm<b>IMcPwn</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:59am<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>dominikaelisa</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:55am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:41am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:09pm

the_enigma1019's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

the_enigma1019's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

by jigglypuff100 / 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm / United States / Work

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

by stinkyhair / 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

by Sedici / 12/18/2011 at 2:44am / United States / Transportation

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML

by Monday / 12/02/2011 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML

by fiendishkitty / 09/20/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

by EwwGross / 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous