the_enigma1019

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the_enigma1019

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2522
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About the_enigma1019 : Being a giant eyeball is hard work.....

You want to know about me? I'm a cosmic space eyeball, here observing the local late cretaceous era flora and fauna. I happened to come across one of your silly "time travelers" carrying an iPhone 45. And kept the trinket for myself. I stumbled upon this app, and strangely enough it's set to view early 21st century fmls... So here I am.

These humans intrigue me, based on their... Uh... What do you simians call it?... Comedic effect.

DocBastard
Noorfml
Perdix
Every1luvsbonerz
All of the fml staff
Pleonasm
Brave_sir_robin

Anyone brave enough to try and make a pun amongst this cold unforgiving community is good in my book

If you guys want to start an eyeball worship cult so that we can set up an invas... Tea party!... I meant tea party!... That would be awesome, thank you.

Chilling with my homie Benjamin Franklin! (known in the hoods of Boston as "Big Ben")

Farewell... *cough* {stupid humans}

the_enigma1019's page activity

Visits<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:34pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:18pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:33pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:31am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:38pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:09pm<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:24pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Fonzilicious</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:53am<b>cannedpeas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:14pm<b>IMcPwn</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:59am<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>dominikaelisa</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:55am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:41am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:09pm

the_enigma1019's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

the_enigma1019's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

by red_headforlife / 09/28/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

by Grindwhore / 09/17/2012 at 6:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

by XxFA1LxX / 07/22/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

by JadedBaker / 07/08/2012 at 2:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

by Anon / 06/10/2012 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

by busfail / 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

by hopeless cluts / 01/29/2012 at 2:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

by badidea / 12/23/2011 at 1:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous