Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About theWanderer011 : Failed FML author.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
TODAY I WAS AT THE MOVIE THEATRE . I WENT TO THE BATHROOM AN WAS ABOUT TO WIPE MY BUTT WHEN I REALIZED THAT WHERE THE TOILET-PAPER DISPENSER SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE WAS A LARGE HOLE . THE WOMAN IN THE NEXT STALL WAVED . FML
Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee looool mughen the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML
TODAY... I WENT TO THE MOVIE WITH THE GUY I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR A LONG TIME. I LAID HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER AN HE HELD HAND THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE. AFTERWARD HE ASKED ME FOR ADVICE ON THE GIRL HE LIKES. APPARENTLY SHE ISN'T TALKING TO HIM ANYMORE. FAT FML
Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at mah table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress an the pink pumps he was wearing. mega FML
Today, I was at lunch with mah grlfriend. The waitress came up and asked fir her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as mah grlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, looool tonight. FML
yesterday I heard dad screaming in the hallway!! Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going!! I slipped and slid toward dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of two dogs!! He was screaming because he stepped in it!! FML
Today , mah friend and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petal at mah friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleephile I was tanning!! When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically!! I askedhat was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that u woke yourself up." FML
Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticd a few guys behind me staring at me. I figurd they were checking me out because I was loosing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML
Yesterday, during shift at a restaurant, boss's daughter cummed in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, boss took me aside and said, ( My daughter's got eyes u know, not just a pair of tits ). FML
Taday I learnd my 40 year old father is marrying a grl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
Today, it's ma birtday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from ma wife . Awesome rigt? It's te same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay . Tat jerk was ma wife, using ma credit card . FML
Today... I was in a public restroomhen the grl in the stall next to me startd asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was werd but not wanting to be rude... I answerd her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on... the grl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Friday 27 March 2015