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thatkidmal's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML
by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML
by doubleCoupon / 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm / United States (California) / Love
by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
by eightleggedtictac / 06/08/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
by Un1ucky / 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by aww, such a nice guy. NOT / 05/25/2014 at 1:46pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
by kids / 05/12/2014 at 1:17am / Kids
Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML
by sheisselluv / 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Work
by not gay in AL / 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm / United States / Love
- Today, I showed my son a picture of my brother who died 15 years ago. My son says when he sees the… Today, my mother was telling me how i use to suck on my dad's nipple's when i was hungry as a baby,… Today after spending an hour and a half desperately trying to shit I had no choice but to glove up…