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thatironpanda

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thatironpanda

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  • Number of visits : 547
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thatironpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

#14708119
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67970) - you deserved it (3780)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16460) - you deserved it (41538) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

#14490872
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (4556)

On 01/06/2011 at 10:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML

#14326550
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (23183)

On 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm - love - by Username - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12066) - you deserved it (24713)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

#13874494
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32329) - you deserved it (2787)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:09am - work - by mommy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (6848)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5674) - you deserved it (58845)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (4465)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I bought a brand new 72" flatscreen TV. After getting it hooked up and working, we went out for a smoke. Hearing this crashing and smashing noise, I went inside to find out my 2 year old daughter had found a metal pole and decided to use it on the TV. FML

#13012319
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15226) - you deserved it (35463)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (9633)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (3549)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (4777)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)



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