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  • Number of visits : 1338
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thatironpanda's page activity

Visits<b>Mr_Quinten</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:25pm<b>chey4212</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:18am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:40am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 7:49am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 6:34am<b>Matrix159</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 1:54am

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thatironpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

by pretty_coin / 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 8:38am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:53am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

by Polmkk / 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 10:05am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

by Ima_Moronski / 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health