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Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML
Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML
Today, I thought I was doing a nice thing when I spent hundreds of dollars to get my friend a plane ticket home. She yelled at me when I gave it to her. Turns out, she planned on spending a few more months freeloading off me. FML
Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Friday 19 December 2014