About thatguy240 : What do I type here?
thatguy240's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
thatguy240's favorite FMLs
Today, on a girls night out at a very fancy restaurant, our waiter spilled my chocolate dessert over my new white pants. To repay up, they gave us a free bottle of red wine, which he promptly coated me in. FML
by Hutchie931 / 07/30/2016 at 7:24pm / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Miscellaneous
by taroschain / 07/30/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2016 at 1:45pm / Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza) / Health
Today, it's the fourth day in a row that I've been kept awake by my grandmother's snoring. I want to be pissed off, but she has sleep apnea, and I feel guilty for even wanting her to shut the hell up. FML
by Checkpoint96 / 07/30/2016 at 12:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2016 at 9:45am / Maldives / Work
Today, I missed my bus to the doctor's office for my scheduled pap test. I was so desperate, I called my deadbeat mom to ask for a ride. She said "Virgins don't need pap tests", laughed, then hung up on me. FML
by Jacqueline H'ghar / 07/30/2016 at 4:56am / New Zealand / Health
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML
by BoboCracker / 07/29/2016 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health
by SilverAuthor / 07/29/2016 at 6:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, whilst tuning my guitar, one of the steel strings snapped and hit me in the face. Now I'm on my way to my first date with the girl of my dreams, and I'm wearing an eye patch and have a thick red line across my face. FML
by Egtat216 / 07/29/2016 at 6:03pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML
by NeitherHrotsvitNorErkembaldus / 07/29/2016 at 5:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 4:33pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 3:30pm / United States / Money
Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
by Toroka / 07/29/2016 at 2:59pm / Love
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
- Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved… Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my… Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up.…