About thatguy240 : What do I type here?
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
thatguy240's favorite FMLs
Today, while taking out a jar of mayonnaise, it slipped from my hand, landing on its lid, exploding, and covering both of my dogs from head to tail in it. Terrified, they fled, leaving a trail of globs of mayo. After cleaning both dogs and the house, they both threw up from eating too much mayonnaise. FML
by Jay703 / 08/02/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
by manderz? / 08/02/2016 at 8:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I didn't get it from drinking, but rather from puking 6 times off the side of a fishing boat. Fishing was the one thing my husband wanted to do while on vacation, even though I'm 3 months pregnant and have a bad stomach. FML
by Chelstable / 08/02/2016 at 1:57pm / Holidays
Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML
by Anonymous / 08/02/2016 at 10:42am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
by TheVagabond_SRG / 08/02/2016 at 2:46am / United States (Texas) / Work
by so embarrassing / 08/02/2016 at 2:27am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
by what sex life? / 08/02/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by meltingturtle / 08/01/2016 at 11:25pm / Love
Today, while at work as a cashier, one lady's total was $1.32. She handed me the dollar, and then apologized. When I looked at her, confused as to what she was sorry about, she went wrist deep into her bra, grabbed some change, and quickly put it into my hand. It was wet and it smelt. FML
by CliffyB03 / 08/01/2016 at 5:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my mom told me that she wanted the whole family to move to Guatemala. I told her, as nice and calmly as I could, that this was an awful idea. She is now furious with me because I don't want to move to Guatemala. FML
by holluphollup / 08/01/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the eye doctor with my little brother. There were only three chairs and one was occupied by a woman. I sat at the far end, but as soon as I sat down, I heard my little brother yell out loud, "I DON'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO THE FAT LADY!" FML
by reallydevonte / 08/01/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I walked up to my sister's car to give her some money I owed her. She refused to open the window and take back the money. After begging her to open the window, a passer-by mistook me for a beggar and gave me some loose change. FML
by Marmarfarfar / 08/01/2016 at 1:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by TheodoreFinches / 08/01/2016 at 11:14am / United Kingdom / Transportation