About thatguy240 : Hillary for prison 2k16
thatguy240's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
thatguy240's favorite FMLs
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
by Dramaqueenfornothing / 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see a hockey game. The announcer asked if anybody found a ring in the stands, because a girl lost hers. While he talked about it, I realised that I forgot mine in my pocket, so I took MY ring and put it on my finger. A guy saw me and thought I stole the lost one. FML
by anon / 04/27/2016 at 12:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I missed an interview to work in a school as a teacher's assistant because the email inviting me to attend got buried among the spam emails. Oh well, back to my usual job as an assistant janitor. Yes, that's right, assistant janitor. It's the same job as a real janitor, but for less pay. FML
by oh, feck off / 04/27/2016 at 9:02am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
by TooQuick / 04/27/2016 at 8:19am / Mozambique (Maputo) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 6:39am / United States (California) / Work
by brandogg / 04/27/2016 at 5:33am / United States (New Mexico) / Health
Today, I rolled my ankle, got pink eye, and have the flu. Unable to stand long enough to cook myself a meal, I opted for delivery. When I opened the door for the delivery boy, he backed away frantically with his arms up upon seeing me. Apparently, I look just as shitty as I feel. FML
by Sick As Hell / 04/27/2016 at 3:22am / United States (Iowa) / Health
Today, I got pulled over by the cops for swerving a lot while driving. I tried to explain that my dog bit the back of my neck, but as soon as I opened my door to show him the bite marks and the dog, it ran out of the car. I still can't find him. FML
by anon / 04/26/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I thought that working as a lifeguard I would be saving lives, rescuing people and things along those lines. What do I get told to do on my first shift? Clean all the fecal matter and hair out the pool. I almost threw up. FML
by TheLifguard95 / 04/26/2016 at 7:49pm / United Kingdom / Work
by CANTTAKEMORE / 04/26/2016 at 6:24pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
Today, my mother showed me a picture of a dog in need of a home. Excitedly, I asked if we were getting it, having wanted one for a few months now. She said, 'No. I'm not even sure why I showed you." FML
by AnnaMuffin / 04/26/2016 at 6:08pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Animals
by Jjay08 / 04/26/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by Sting / 04/26/2016 at 4:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Dashofweak / 04/26/2016 at 12:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous