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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 702
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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thatgirl139's page activity

Visits<b>Nonameforu</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 7:58pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:13pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 11:14pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:33am<b>jonathan896</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 4:15am<b>ECraine</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 8:26am<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 7:19am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 9:11pm<b>timmerdoodle</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 5:58pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 05/22/2012 at 1:54am

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thatgirl139's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

by Anon / 08/16/2011 at 2:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

by / 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm / United States / Health

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

by yummy / 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 10:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

by roberto / 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Intimacy