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thatemoguykevin

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thatemoguykevin

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  • Number of visits : 78
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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It’s in the can

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thatemoguykevin's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (6582)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21534) - you deserved it (1599)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (1311)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
687 comments

I agree, your life sucks (704245) - you deserved it (56038)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
535 comments

I agree, your life sucks (503590) - you deserved it (35051)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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