About that1redhead : I'm just another guy who seems to get nowhere in life, so i read FML posts to make myself feel better.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44494) - you deserved it (6602)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (1628)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14689) - you deserved it (34391)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9656) - you deserved it (57206)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52820) - you deserved it (9989)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43270) - you deserved it (7008)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (16627)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my sister and I were reading the new FML posts. I sat close to the fan, and after a few minutes, I leaned against it for support. It immediatly sucked up my hair and started violently twisting it. My sister continued to read and shouted at me because my cries for help are distracting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39251) - you deserved it (9402)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:21pm - health - by baldintheback (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49232) - you deserved it (3594)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15308) - you deserved it (27784)
On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14461) - you deserved it (37843)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59565) - you deserved it (12172)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49671) - you deserved it (13469)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (35874)
On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (10012)
On 07/28/2009 at 2:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)
Friday 24 May 2013
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