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About that1guy1 : Where's this thing supposed to go?
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
yesterday while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone looool making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I cummed out . FML
Today... even though she can barely deal with raising kids... mah 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy... by a fourth man... of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
Today, I went to the doctor 4 a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom 4 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally trippd and spilld urine sample on the carpet. FML
Today, I Putted An Anonymous Note Under My Nieghbour's Door Asking Them To Not Have Sex So Loudly During The Day. Since Then, I Haven't Heard Any Sex. Unfortunately, I Have Heard A Woman Crying Loudly Because She Just Found Out About Her Husband's Affair. FML
Today,hilst at mah award night, I got a boner, right as it was mah turn to accept mah award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up an under mah belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, cuz the head of mah penis poked out through mah shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God fir over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered fir a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever hered. You're dumb." mega FML
Today, mah navy boyfriend,ho's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After sereching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
Today, I was driving on tha motorwayhan a cop car mada ma stop. It was a routina chack anhan thay said "Hava you baan drinking?" of coursa I said no. To that, mah 6 yaar old sitting in tha back scraamad "Yas sha did! Sha's lying I saw har drink!" I had drunk a milkshaka. maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015