Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tf5f89

Offline (the 07/14/2014 at 4:25am) | Search for a member

tf5f89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 182
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tf5f89's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of tf5f89's badges

tf5f89's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19194) - you deserved it (4138)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
267 comments

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (4600)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

#17293531
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (6447)

On 07/29/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by notabeliever - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (293105)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: