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teufelschloss

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teufelschloss
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 April 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 24346
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About teufelschloss : Artist.

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teufelschloss's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56332) - you deserved it (14568)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60933) - you deserved it (4203)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56919) - you deserved it (3249)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (43664)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

#4664067
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (11607)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66126) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54468) - you deserved it (4486)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (46040)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44694) - you deserved it (6832)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML

#4310988
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (5381)

On 08/05/2009 at 3:36pm - work - by TMI (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (6770)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (6770)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)



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