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testing

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12070
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

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testing's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:58am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:51pm<b>reburkah</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:59am<b>guineagirl</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:49pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 2:25pm<b>befml</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 1:15pm<b>jeslog95</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Spicymexican46</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:39pm<b>ceraseerin</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:26am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:43pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:57pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:14am<b>Eric0</b> - the 03/07/2010 at 10:05pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:38pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/13/2009 at 5:47pm<b>jchansfan</b> - the 10/30/2009 at 8:52am<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 10/15/2009 at 6:50pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:58am

testing's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

testing's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#3620845
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (55962)

On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - kids - by armybrat - United States (Virginia)

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

#3549560
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (71698)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70973) - you deserved it (5223)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83654) - you deserved it (14263)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML

#3053433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (4649)

On 06/20/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by DesDri (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

#3048496
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41524) - you deserved it (4224)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Bob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11765) - you deserved it (112146)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51329) - you deserved it (17997)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

#2883400
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16509) - you deserved it (48565)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141847) - you deserved it (10091)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51177) - you deserved it (6018)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99232) - you deserved it (21116)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81705) - you deserved it (22986)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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