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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2971
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44236) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

#185042
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59366) - you deserved it (15933)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by Stairway2Heaven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (59165)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

#142298
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13117) - you deserved it (41882)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by River (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75513) - you deserved it (4482)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (736492) - you deserved it (73985)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53875) - you deserved it (5066)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100249) - you deserved it (9010)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213895) - you deserved it (73290)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213895) - you deserved it (73290)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43977) - you deserved it (13050)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14720) - you deserved it (45719)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (9387)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12072) - you deserved it (36576)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20346) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)



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