Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tessa1110001

Search for a member

tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2955
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tessa1110001's last visitors

MeCoCoCheeseTron

tessa1110001's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of tessa1110001's badges

tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

#5203639
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (4685)

On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8506) - you deserved it (28477)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

#4949841
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (6574)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:44am - animals - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

#4942849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36165) - you deserved it (5510)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm - misc - by LGFLIPSTER (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11466) - you deserved it (43822)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (27875)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13790) - you deserved it (44829)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63497) - you deserved it (9575)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55090) - you deserved it (9618)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

#4443952
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6590) - you deserved it (92699)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53359) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

#4412595
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10653) - you deserved it (60464)

On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

#4362342
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (1864)

On 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm - misc - by LT (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: