terribletowel64

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/22/2015 at 8:08pm)

terribletowel64

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1146
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

terribletowel64's page activity

Visits<b>Anfroyo</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:13pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 2:44am<b>cupcake1126</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:50pm<b>DrownedMyFish</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:38pm

terribletowel64's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of terribletowel64's badges

terribletowel64's favorite FMLs

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

by birdguts / 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

by shadowfigure / 01/23/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Alaska) / Kids

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

by widow / 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

by Brandon / 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2010 at 6:39am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

by RyanM / 03/10/2010 at 10:00am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

by Busted / 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

by Kirta / 11/09/2009 at 10:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

by TrueScotsman / 10/29/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

by nerd / 10/16/2009 at 11:08am / Singapore / Love

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

by noballs / 08/18/2009 at 12:24am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

by notsomuchinlove / 08/07/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Love