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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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terranada

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terranada
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 436
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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terranada's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (3383) - you deserved it (18690)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (4158)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (10416) - you deserved it (876)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (6059)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (2047)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (3125)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (2269)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974 (483)

I agree, your life sucks (49525) - you deserved it (4528)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (40277) - you deserved it (6247)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300 (468)

I agree, your life sucks (57466) - you deserved it (7201)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (5239)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (4940)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

#15237271 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (4427)

On 03/08/2011 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (9999) - you deserved it (30664)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (40013) - you deserved it (31197)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)