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Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7943) - you deserved it (21785)
On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28820) - you deserved it (4793)
On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (7238)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45083) - you deserved it (2146)
On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, it's cold and rainy. I would like nothing more than to drink hot chocolate and watch a movie with the woman I love; the same woman who cheated on me and took the TV with her when she left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (2674)
On 11/29/2011 at 2:29pm - love - by toobad - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35987) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (7202)
On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (40093)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (4121)
On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -
Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5306) - you deserved it (70030)
On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend's "therapy" meetings have been with my best friend, in his truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33840) - you deserved it (2725)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Aleial - United States
Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30144) - you deserved it (3123)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by insulted - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (16881)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, a policeman and me confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (1618)
On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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