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Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14196) - you deserved it (77569)
On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (365205) - you deserved it (20265)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106820) - you deserved it (7120)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72205) - you deserved it (13920)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54193) - you deserved it (25127)
On 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by johnfrank (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (46903)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (101727)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (73252)
On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59072) - you deserved it (7385)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm - health - by uofpalum (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (105966)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (277979) - you deserved it (21822)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58740) - you deserved it (5580)
On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57456) - you deserved it (14078)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my finace's grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78325) - you deserved it (3786)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by chefdujour (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (20760)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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