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Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (10964)
On 07/29/2009 at 10:24am - money - by faentalivetmitt (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37827) - you deserved it (7064)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (3021)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by mubaki (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (6676)
On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63748) - you deserved it (2650)
On 07/20/2009 at 11:43am - love - by good_job_john (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (20255)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40083) - you deserved it (2428)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40233) - you deserved it (7840)
On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53225) - you deserved it (2518)
On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52223) - you deserved it (20568)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (12102)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (18543)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40) - you deserved it (41254)
On 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by potpurri_needed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61587) - you deserved it (5520)
On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (192832)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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