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Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7155) - you deserved it (25889)
On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16414) - you deserved it (4742)
On 12/07/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by proudparent (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (1487)
On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (22496)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (8429)
On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (6310)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13718) - you deserved it (7152)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (20619)
On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8652) - you deserved it (34603)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35454) - you deserved it (1779)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15202) - you deserved it (1258)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)
Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20625) - you deserved it (4190)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:26am - work - by dishwasherforlife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5365) - you deserved it (18817)
On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (1937)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I spent the night with my guy, whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (2924)
On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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