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Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (1712)
On 02/18/2010 at 4:51am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - United States
Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (2776)
On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)
Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17133) - you deserved it (5131)
On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88152) - you deserved it (9129)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (2982)
On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (6247)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (6205)
On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18922) - you deserved it (1879)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (5491)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3895) - you deserved it (33717)
On 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Sean (man) - United States
Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (1874)
On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (6263)
On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (4717)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:08pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (5834)
On 12/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35017) - you deserved it (1927)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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