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Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15176) - you deserved it (25966)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (1276)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (6052)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6564) - you deserved it (17441)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (1429)
On 03/05/2010 at 3:21pm - misc - by copenhagen20 - United States (Armed Forces Africa)
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29744) - you deserved it (2284)
On 03/05/2010 at 7:54am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18334) - you deserved it (2074)
On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)
Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16287) - you deserved it (5309)
On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30378) - you deserved it (1382)
On 02/27/2010 at 2:03pm - health - by hairplease (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9521) - you deserved it (29778)
On 02/25/2010 at 7:33pm - love - by MUemma (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20031) - you deserved it (4785)
On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (1782)
On 02/25/2010 at 1:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (4719)
On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (1400)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14456) - you deserved it (2351)
On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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