tehslack

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tehslack

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 11729
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tehslack's page activity

Visits<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:41pm<b>curticus</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 10:43pm<b>Miss_Attitude96</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:48pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:17pm<b>leearm104</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 1:04pm<b>GetITin</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 11:03am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:52pm<b>Brittneyyyy</b> - the 07/21/2010 at 6:36pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 6:53pm

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tehslack's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

by rojin12 / 08/30/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

by TheJazzKid / 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

by slut / 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

by dev / 08/28/2011 at 2:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

by RainCl0ud / 08/27/2011 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

by candie / 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

by EpicMayonnaise / 08/26/2011 at 3:35am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

by shocked / 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Intimacy