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  • Number of visits : 11340
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tehslack's page activity

Visits<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:41pm<b>curticus</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 10:43pm<b>Miss_Attitude96</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:48pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:17pm<b>leearm104</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 1:04pm<b>GetITin</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 11:03am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:52pm<b>Brittneyyyy</b> - the 07/21/2010 at 6:36pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 6:53pm

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tehslack's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

by Pool-less / 09/04/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

by Pizza-less / 09/04/2011 at 12:16am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my friend's house and accidentally blew out a candle that was supposed to be lit for seven days straight. It was in honor of her grandmother who had recently died. FML

by appaluver / 09/03/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

by whatdidIdo / 09/03/2011 at 1:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

by whattalife / 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

by tryingtobepretty101 / 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

by macattack / 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

by Username / 08/31/2011 at 3:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

by girlsx2mom / 08/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm / United States / Work

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML

by Nasty / 08/30/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

by wtf / 08/30/2011 at 8:16am / India (Delhi) / Miscellaneous